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Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Future of Yesterday is Here Today!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled blog silence to bring you news on this important home video release. (end)

Deathsport and Battletruck are now available, together, on one digital versatile disc. (end)

It took scientists 4-years of painstaking research and an estimated U.S. $14 million to figure out how these two stupidendous movies could be combined onto the same disc. Experts were able to place Deathsport onto the medium with little problem but the moment Battletruck was added, all hell broke loose. The films would immediately begin attacking each other in a futuristic way, causing each to slip off of the DVD and plummet into a vast wasteland where only the strong survive. Search and rescue teams cloaked in bad costumes would be forced to lure the films out of the abyss with bad acting and promises of great riches, a better tomorrow and mini-bikes wrapped in tin foil. (end)

Before Deathsport and Battletruck could be placed on a DVD together, scientists had to devise a cunning digital wall to separate the movies. This process had never been tried before and experts were stunned to learn it worked. (end)

Researcher Franklin Jeff Connors said "We did it. I don't know how we did it, though." (end)

It is not without some degree of irony that the cost of packaging these films together far surpassed the amount of both of their budgets combined 97 times over. But it had to be done because these movies both share a post-apocalyptic theme and have titles that are two words blended together to make one new fancy word. (end)

Come down to Have You Seen... video store and rent history of the future in the making. (end)


  1. Yah!!! You guys got Deathsport & Battletruck!!!! YOU GUYS RULE!!!!!!!!111 I love you!!!!! BEST VIDEO STORE IN PETERBOROUGH ON ALYMER ST. EVER!!!!! Well, aside from the library.

  2. Wow, I can't compete with that enthusiasm.

    When the Trash Palace was in town last year, I took in their screening of Death Sport - my first time seeing it. As a spiritual sequel to Death Race 2000 (loosely), it was a bit mind-boggling. Stupid sexy David Carradine is such an odd leading man, and Claudia Jennings gets tortured in a particularly strange - and naked - way.
    I've yet to see Battletruck. Maybe I can watch the two on a triple feature with KILLDOZER.